As the cold hard reality of the impending death of Lydia takes hold in my being, I must take great care, great effort to not allow my own still fragile re-embrace of life to slip. The pain of her loss evokes my own pain of too many losses. This pain which I vowed to move beyond; I vowed to continue with my life, to live life. The pain is so ready to surface, a slight scratch and it bubbles up creating once again the darkness, the film which can too easily color my day.
Karen Armstrong is interviewed by Tavis Smiley, discussing her new book: The Case for God, and she states an essential truth, which I paraphrase:
It’s not the BELIEF in God/Goddess/The Divine which changes one’s life, which creates a sense of meaning in life; rather it’s the PRACTICE of compassionate selflessness which brings meaning, richness, deep peace to one’s life.
Compassionate selflessness. The ability to place yourself in the other person’s shoes. And not judge. Feel mercy and tenderness for another’s soul, for their human condition. PRACTICE this and your life will be full.
I am feeling deep compassion for Lydia and Lizi. They are suffering the knowledge of impending loss, Lydia’s death. I imagine a huge red ball of love hoovering over them, embracing and engulfing them. I imagine them holding each other tenderly, lovingly, stroking, touching, soothing the pain of separation, loss.
And I must continue to have compassion for my heart, my soul too. I must not let the anticipation of a dear friend’s death keep me from my vows to practice this art of living.